Bizarre Snacks: Tizer, Tizer, burning bright, drinking soda in the night

Tizer, now with added bite!

We watched the movie Tree of Life Wednesday, and fell into a deep, minimalist what’s-the-meaning-of-creation state, thusly preventing us from keeping good on our promise to finish and post Chapter 18 of The Nepal Chronicles.

But, somewhere around the beginning of time and the part where the kids shoot the frog into the sky on the back of a bottle rocket, Dan was rummaging around the fridge searching for either arsenic or Pepsi (it really was going to depend on how the movie ended) when much to our surprise he stumbled upon a long forgotten can of Bizarre Snack in the form of a Scottish soda called Tizer.

So, instead of Nepal, we decided to go with Scotland. And good thing!

Tizer is pretty minimalist itself, touting itself as a “sparkling mixed flavour soft drink with sugar and sweetener.” Um, isn’t every soda that? But wait, Tizer also promised “Now with added bite.”

What did make us stand up and say “Huh?” was the ingredients carrot and safflower. Carrot soda? Do you even know what a safflower is? Neither did we, and even after looking it up the nearest we could figure was that it’s a flower used for vegetable oil.

Ok, so to the Inter-tubes! Tizer has a website that is nearly as boring and uninformative as the can itself. But we did learn that it is manufactured by the same company that puts out Irn-Bru, the Red Bull of Britannia. Known as much for their non-stop knee-slapping offensive line of advertisements as the somewhat lemon-like drink itself, Irn-Bru is on par with Coca-Cola across the pond.  For example, one ad showed a mid-wife trying to entice a baby out of the mother’s womb during a difficult delivery by waving a Irn-Bru between the mom’s legs. Yup, really.

Anyway, fear not, Tizer has also dabbled in less than amusing marketing to sell its product – one ad showed children with their faces pressed against a glass surface with the slogan “How many kids can you get in your fridge?” Another video ad appears to show some officers cheerfully beating what seem to be, we don’t know, soccer hooligans? You can see that one here: Tizer Ad

Nothing like a good beat down or kids trapped in a fridge to put a smile on a Scot’s face!

Anyway, it turns out Tizer isn’t so awful as Irn-Bru. With less than 100 calories per can, the soda is really more like flavored carbonated water. The particular can of “added bite” that we had was some sort of lemon-lime flavor. We had the twins over and gave them a sip as well, and even they enjoyed the fizz and the taste. Honestly, if a soda can get the thumbs up of the nine-year-old set then Tizer is doing something right.

FYI, we could not distinguish any carrot flavor.

One of the twins had the brilliant idea of adding a shot of Coca-Cola to the Tizer, which though defeating the purpose of Tizer, did actually make it taste much better. Kind of like adding a shot of espresso to hot chocolate, we suppose!

As a trail snack, Tizer seems unlikely mainly because we have no idea where we could get some around here. You’d think such snacks from Britain would show up someplace in New England, but darned if we know. If anyone reading this knows of a New England store that sells it, let us know.

Until then, we’ll have to settle for lime Coca-Cola. Cheers, mate!

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